I’ve tried telling my mum who I am. How I feel and all that Jazz. She’s accepted me being queer, but not Genderless. Ie explained how I want to change my name to Taylor to feel more comfortable but she just says “You’ll end up normal or trans.” Which I don’t know if she’s right, there are days where I feel MTF, and others where I feel Genderless. I don’t understand why my mind has to have me identified and labeled and boxed in.
It really upsets me that I’m always labeled a lesbian because I have short hair. Yes, I am dating a girl and want to be with her the rest of my life, but I’m not a lesbian and I don’t want to be called a lesbian. I lost my hair due to chemo and I’m currently growing it out. I hate short hair to be quite honest and always have. I would consider myself to be pansexual if I absolutely had to choose. I am not a lesbian.
“Do you miss dating girls?”
I hate how this comes up and puts stress on my boyfriend and I. All because I had to be truthful and tell him that I’ve been questioning my pansexual identity. And also that I go through periods where I do identify as a lesbian.
Honestly I wish my sexuality was clear cut like some of my friends because I hate this catch-22 situation my mind fixates on. If I do realize and accept being lesbian and leave him would he hate me? What if I mis-step and do it and it turns out I accept being pansexual and it was all for naught? Would it even be worth it? I mean this dating crap is hard enough being a tom-boy transgirl!
Regardless of my own sexual conundrum I don’t want to hurt him.
Please help me raise enough money to afford top surgery!
Every little bit counts. Thank you.
I am an agendered asexual genderqueer/trans* anarchist vegan atheist. Any gender variant folks/trans* people who think that their experiences does not have blatant intersectionalities with speciesism, authoritarianism, and oppression of all people- is WRONG. Folks need to educate themselves about all oppressions and be conscious of how each one closely relates.
Some days I answer girl, some days I answer both, but I think, “Its none of your business!” all the time.
I don’t have to choose or identify for anyone’s convenience.
I still check my email every few minutes, waiting for an email from my dad to explain that he doesn’t really hate me, for me to wake up from this nightmare. I want a family vacation. I want my dad to teach me to drive. I want to go home. It’s never going to happen, is it.